Got some work for tomorrow and possibly next weekend. Had to shuffle the kids around but made it happen. Gonna make a teensy weensy bit of cash...good start.
Crap...had too much green tea last night and couldn't sleep. Feeling a bit peeved that I'm going to spend my Saturday workin' for the man but I have to muster up the energy cuz a friend referred me.
Trust me SP, this isn't enough money to make a anything go around...not even sure why I'm doing it but I am.
Holy cr*p. So, went to work, survived, no sleep, no food, worked my butt off, did a good job. The woman I was working for of course just divorced her H after 2 years of separation and him refusing to cease his infidelities. That sure did a number on me. As I picked up dust bunnies, I seethed knowing that on a split screen,one side there's me on the floor sweating and toiling and on the other side H laughing and getting a lap-dance with rock star footing the bill.
Back to reality. I got pizaid...$160..woohoo. But, I'm proud that I did it.
Kind of stressing now because H just emailed that he will be staying away longer. I want some peace and some sense of resolution.
I just read an article about how suppressing emotions actually makes them proliferate. I wonder how to just have all of these feelings all the time and function fully without suppressing.
I have some fun plans today. It does feel like there is sort of a grey film over my life so that it can only feel so good but not quite all the way there. You know?
I am proud of you for working and doing the right thing. I totally know what you mean...and when I think about all of the things that I THINK H is doing...like all the fun he is having, etc...I try to remind myself that he cannot be having fun and prancing around happily ALL the time...and that he has to be living a much more hellacious existence within. You should be proud of you...you rock!!
But, I'm proud that I did it.