Sorry i have been quiet everyone, peace thanks so much for the post. I have been out of town working for the last few days; first time that have had to sit down and write here. I have had a lot f time to think over the last few days and I am stating to realise as a dawning reality that my H is deeper into his A with OW than what I thought. I really believe that this is serious now. I have been hit with what has she got that I havent got talking in my mind. She is older closer to my husbands age, she has two teenage boys, is from the town where we live, just like him, interested in the same music, probably has him on a keep fit/diet campaign (he has high blood pressure but seems to have lost weight) has her own house in a very good area, works for him in his company so hasn't got the work constraints that I did about not being bale to spend time with him. Blonde, good figure..... What have I got; brunette, good figure (curvy), we have our D7, a ten year relationship that he obviously wants to forget, even though there has been mistakes I have loved him and have wanted my marriage. he says that he is in a new relationship, the marriage is over and that he has moved on, How can he jump into a new relationship after ten years with no time by himself to reflect on things; to cope with the fall out that his walking out has caused? Ha she met his soul mate in her and was I the dress rehearsal? Is she the rebound?? It seems she is a lot more serious than that...... It grieves me that my H saw no other choice than to walk away from a family that love him to be with this "yes" woman; the woman that will stroke his ego and stand by him as his company is folding. I found out yesterday that I have won a visiting fellow award to Harvard, starting in wither the fall or spring sememster. I went ou t for a celebratory drink last night with my mum and one f my close friends who is a solicitor. She thinks that a huge part of what has happened is the green eyed monster. My H's company is in huge trouble, i have had more and more international success in what I do, and he wants to bring me down if he is struggling. Even choosing the other woman, in her position, is a tact. he r job is not to challenge him but to walk behind him and support him, just as she is in his personal life. I have tried to support my H over the years but I have also been tough love as well. I am on an equal level to him and I believe that that is a good thing.We can learn s much from people who push us to become better people. I dont know, maybe OW is doing just that but I doubt it. He has caused so much chaos to be with her. I suspect that either he is in HUGE denial and MLC, playing out this phase of it with her.......or he is WAS and has met the love of his life and has had to drag me and our D7 through this out of necessity. He has a family who love him here at home, yet he has created a new life with her and her sons. is there hope in God that he can soften my husbands heart and open his eyes.....I pray every day, god is sometimes so quiet and silent, it seems as if nothing is happening......only more and more upset. My H and I have our first mediation session on Wednesday, he has obviously had his letter of introduction sent to her house, not here. He as moved most of his clothes but everything else is still here, especially all of his books which he loves, photos etc. I am going int mediation with a sense of doom, the supporting lit they sent me began "for people who are separating to do so with dignity". I didn't want this, never wanted it. I have loved and have wanted my family.I never had a choice in this. He has lied, deceived and denied me and my family the right to the truth and to a response. Thanks for reading would love as much feedback as poss; feeling very alone on this. My friends are all starting to tell me to get over him. I am GAL bu you dont get over someone this quickly (5 months).Grief and loss has its own contour. I x
