As time: Thanks for visiting you gave me a huge laugh! appreciated!
Cinders thanks for posting: Ues the pull is strong It has taken me from Saturday until today to turn it over again BF--Yes this attraction may help the survival of the species, but I am past that point and this time around I want a healthy R so maybe we need to run from attractions and make choices from a higher place easier said than done If I can let this one go: I will have more faith in my myself and trust for my choices
XH here tonight I make a mistake every time I ask this man for anything i mean anything My s7 birthday party on Sunday I ask XH if he would mind picking up the pizzas he said No he cant so I reacted by saying next year we can celebrate with seperate parties he left I dont know what happened to us we got along so well for 2 years until D maybe he is angrey at himself maybe he is angry that I asked L and he agreed to wait for overnights till next June maybe it b/c he is in huge debt I dont know but he appears to be angrey a lot more than Ive noticed in the past and we have a harder time communicating thna in past maybe b/c im not actively DB or going out of my way to iniate any conversations Im just going on with my life Im always cordial but I am not trying anymore I have nothing left for this one-sided R I would like us to be friends again, in Gods hands peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Do you find yourself any more empathetic for your H after experiencing this pull/attraction first-hand? I can easily see how someone going through a difficult time could succumb to the attraction. It takes a lot of strength to reject it, especially if it's right there waiting for you, as OP usually are. (Similarly, it's believed that those whose souls are weak are easily manipulated by black magic - if you believe in that kind of stuff.)
Leave H alone for now. I know there were times when my H went through the same. Don't assume it's about you or the kids. Something's going on in his messed up world and he's taking it out on you. Be nice to him to save yourself the stress of dealing with him.
Happy Birthday to your S! My S is also turning 7 and having his party this weekend. What a coincidence.
You might find me odd after I tell you this, but you were in my dream the other night! I wish I could remember more about it, or at least tell you parts of it to see if any of them are true... Can't ask on here without revealing too much about yourself. Wish they'd allow PMs!
SH I would love to hear your dream if your ok with posting it I will reply maybe we could emaillet me know when youll be back and we will work it out wow what a coincidence about the bithdays
I called XH this am to clear the air about last night it felt right..I left him a VM basicaaly telling him that I do not wish to fight him He has a right to say NO and I do not wany him to do things here unless he wants to and I wany to reapect his boundries and be FRiends again
He called back twicw..mostly about BS I am going to try to let XH go more and not ask him for help or ask less and expect he will say NO and let him be by NOT reacting this is my goal this month let him go more
that is easy b/c my focus is now on fried anyway and how do I keep this attraction at a friendship level? I am in trouble here and Yes It does give me compassion for XH to know he stood absolutely no chance at fighting this off I am not in crises,yet I am struggling I have this illusion I can control this.. but this man is at the same place I dance, so I see him frequently: and well dancing is very sexual especially when this atraction is strong this is going on 2 months now...and Ive been feeling I had to let him go from the start I may have to stop going for a brief while peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Peace, you really are an incredible person. I think you are right to let h go more. Do what is best for you.
As for the other person, what are you conflicted about? Is it because you are standing? Is he not a good person? Maybe we could help if you told us a bit more.
1. New friend is a nice person I see red flags with this guy and mainly I dont see us emotionally at the same place he is somewhat spiritual..but he also comes from a similar history ( childhood) as my XH and he has done no recovery work on himself
so I guess I see it as an explosion waiting to happen Later and I dont want to go thru this again
the conflict is: between 1 and 2
2; I am attracted to him and he easy to be with he is a great dancer and teaches me many new moves which is exciting and I feel great being with him/fun/exciting ect- like any new R
so there it is I am not sure this R could really work and I dont want to get sucked into another bad R especially now peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Nobody is perfect, all have flaws. Dating to me was like pulling the weeds from the rose garden. There were a lot of weeds, but I don't regret going through them to discover the few roses along the way.
You don't have to marry the guy, your just dating. Think of it as something casual and you won't get 'sucked in'. Consider yourself the one 'in power' of how any new relationship in your life will progress. One thing about being dumped and feeling powerless about it, is your a little wiser and stronger the next time around. You won't let it happen to you again.
Trust yourself and enjoy the company.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
Peace, I agree with Astime. Just keep it casual, light and fun. Explain to him, honestly, that you do not want anything serious, that you dont want to hurt him if that is what he wants. Tell him it is really important that he understands this.
Then just enjoy his company. You are in control. Take a leap, Peace. Dont feel guilty. If you do, then perhaps you are not really ready to date.
As time yes I have to trust myself..sometimes I dont BM thanks.. I do not feel guilty My XH is so far into the tunnel.. I only see him going further away Im was really Not actively looking for this guy but I kinda feel like I want to get my feet wet, so to say with dating: and I want to explore and not get stuck on one guy I want to create something better this time and I feel I have many useful tools in me now that I didnt have with XH peace its just that I have found a great way to have fun and socialize with dancing..I meet a few girlfriends there and we have a blast I am feeling relaxed about it and I think I may take a week off and experience other things
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
As time yes I have to trust myself..sometimes I dont BM thanks.. I do not feel guilty My XH is so far into the tunnel.. I only see him going further away Im was really Not actively looking for this guy but I kinda feel like I want to get my feet wet, so to say with dating: and I want to explore and not get stuck on one guy I want to create something better this time and I feel I have many useful tools in me now that I didnt have with XH peace its just that I have found a great way to have fun and socialize with dancing..I meet a few girlfriends there and we have a blast I am feeling relaxed about it and I think I may take a week off and experience other things
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
