You may be right in my sitch only because in my case I had been stewing over my W's unrealistic view of D for some time prior to discussion, so what I perceived as being calm, may have actually come across as "ha!, you are wrong!..."
I thought I was calm, but maybe not.
At the same time, I still think that my W's initial view of D (Thinker still around providing full financial and child-care support, and Mrs. Thinker otherwise free to pursue new career and love interests without concern for money and without losing any time or love from her kids is completely out to lunch.
I'm sure she's not so stupid as to think that her life as a SAHM will remain the same. She may be acting surprised in hopes that you will go along with keeping up her status as SAHM.
IMO, her perceptions of "ugly" when it comes to feeling punishment or Shadenfrued *could be* separate from her manipulative play to keep her comforts intact.
