<< Made it very clear that even though we are apart, in the eyes of the law she is still married so taking him to her boyfriends house was completely inappropriate.

How about if you're still married and she's moved in with OM and the D is not yet final (this was Kerry's case and is mine too). I agree its "inappropriate" but what does the law do for us?

I don't even think the law cares to do much for the lying. Often the kids are asked to lie.