On being the best O'Dog I can be

[orangedog]

We talked a little last night. I just said the message was part of a conversation in my 'divorce group'. Nothing connected or mentioned about DB'ing (whew!!). She wasn't as mad as I thought she'd be. She figured I needed somewhere to gripe and said "Well I'm glad you have a group to talk all the psychology stuff with. I have my friends." Other than that just a little small talk and a few laughs about the movie she just saw, "I love you man". I've been urging her to see it because it's totally about me (yes, I'm a "girlfriend guy").

I set up some stuff in my house last night. It looks nice. My dog was flustered about the new digs and spent a lot of timing pacing. She hasn't eaten in a few days.

This morning some brief conversation about money and how she was covering a few bills right now. Whatever. We'll square up. We talked a little about the Ch 13 and how it's a tough payment especially with two households. She reminded me she would probably make partner next year so after that it would only be a tough payment for me. "Yeah, thanks for reminding me."

But I discovered a separation or divorce could change things significantly for me with possibly a lower ch 13 payment or possibly converting to ch 7 and flushing it all. I called my own bankruptcy atty about the changed circumstances so he's going to refer me to an outside person to talk the possibility of changing the case. Wow! A fresh a start for me. W isn't too excited about this but that's just business.

It's been an emotional few days. Tonight is my last night at the house. I just don't know. We get along so well and things have improved so much but sometimes she can be just so unemotional and analytical. My hope is that after a few months she'll want to start working on things again. My fear is...well you know what my fear is. I'm trying to stay upbeat about this. It's about being a better me and having fun no matter what happens. It's just hard right now.