Another newcomer - already finding help

[SavingMyMarriage]

JKL, thanks for the earlier post/advice. I read your situation and it is very interesting. I'm glad that there is so much support out there! I can relate to what you are going through.

I read in your story that your W was interested in leaving prior to the EA? There were problems in my M for about 1.5 years, but then my W started acting strange in AUG/SEP 2008. Shortly thereafter, we got in an argument and she said she would be better off by herself (or that she could also be miserable by herself). It wasn't until OCT 2008 when she admitted she was having an EA & PA. Until I found out about the A, I also believed she wanted to leave w/o any outside influences. Now I truly believe that w/o the A, she wouldn't have mentioned that she wanted out of our M. There would've still been issues, but I believe we could've more easily worked them out.

My situation is somewhat different: My W hasn't asked for a Sep or D, but she did say she didn't want the R anymore on 5/8. I think she is afraid (or is unsure but isn't telling me she is unsure) to ask for a Sep or D. I really feel your pain. For me, it's the "unknown" that hurts.