I see the point, I think I will dial back my "helpfulness" on this so I am not enabling so much. The hard part is how to do this on the separation agreement we have been discussing. I don't want her to run off to the lawyer again and file; I would rather we control it ourselves. I don't forsee stopping the sale of the house, us living separately, etc. My DB stuff is going to take time and it will be down the road to hopefully stop the D from being final (or after).
H35 W34 S4 | T-10 yrs M-6 yrs WAW said M over 04/09 | Living separate since 09/09 Thread #1 Thread #2 Thread #3
I have been sleeping well lately, feeling strong in the place I have got myself mentally. WAW has been having trouble sleeping. I guess she has a lot on her mind.
Interesting topics came up last night when she initiated some R talk. Very light, mostly references to past and how she is mad I am "doing things" now and not before. I just nodded my head and said "I understand." I catch her looking at my the past few days, with a look I interpret as "what is going on here?" What is going on her Wife is my DB kung fu, 180, GAL, detach, act unexpectedly, plant seeds of doubt.
H35 W34 S4 | T-10 yrs M-6 yrs WAW said M over 04/09 | Living separate since 09/09 Thread #1 Thread #2 Thread #3
JKL, thanks for the earlier post/advice. I read your situation and it is very interesting. I'm glad that there is so much support out there! I can relate to what you are going through.
I read in your story that your W was interested in leaving prior to the EA? There were problems in my M for about 1.5 years, but then my W started acting strange in AUG/SEP 2008. Shortly thereafter, we got in an argument and she said she would be better off by herself (or that she could also be miserable by herself). It wasn't until OCT 2008 when she admitted she was having an EA & PA. Until I found out about the A, I also believed she wanted to leave w/o any outside influences. Now I truly believe that w/o the A, she wouldn't have mentioned that she wanted out of our M. There would've still been issues, but I believe we could've more easily worked them out.
My situation is somewhat different: My W hasn't asked for a Sep or D, but she did say she didn't want the R anymore on 5/8. I think she is afraid (or is unsure but isn't telling me she is unsure) to ask for a Sep or D. I really feel your pain. For me, it's the "unknown" that hurts.
Me:41 W: 36 No Kids
EA&PA: JUL08-OCT08 & MAY09-fwd
W said we may not make it: JAN09 W said she doesn't want R: 5/8/09,6/5/09,7/19/09 Moved out: 7/31/09
