Game Over?

[dday101798]

t-minus 10 days (not that is matters anymore)

Spoke with W last night as planned, heard all I needed to hear. She has zero regard for me as a H and father, she has gone so far now as to call family and child services in on me, for what I do not know. Claims she didn't, claims to be sorry for doing exaclty everything she said she WOULDN'T do to me: mainly destroy me financially and cut off my parenting time, but yet tried to have the brass to lay full blame on me for our lives being the way they are, and that she "HAS" to be with OM and would rather not, but that is "my doing". Obviously that was not accepted at all and I have now clearly seen her true colors once and for all.

In all at least it can be said nothing resulted in a arguement, however it appears the legal system will be a part of our lives for some time as she has all the rules and stipulations of the joint parenting agreement in her possesion, yet talks like she has sole custody of how she is going to do this and that where the boys are concerned and there is "nothing i can do about". We'll see about that.

So, I have packed up her emotional belongings left in my heart and threw it out on the front lawn. Now, like the eviction of a sloppy tenant, I have to clean up the filthy mess she made.

It hurt for about an hour, but then I knew, there is no chance for us and I must say as sad as it is, I am releaved.

And timing couldn't be better.

During my month and half that I was doing very very well lately, I ran into a old high school era friend. Turns out she is also recently divorced and having a rough go of things. we had been speaking quite frquently and went to a lunch and a movie at one point.

When I crashed last week, we stopped speaking and now I know why. She sent an e-mail yesterday and professed having feelings for me. I must say we have a VERY comfortable line of communication to work with. I even went so far as to confess I had crush on her way back when I was 14, how embarresing. I could only reply that currently the time is not right and I MUST repair myself first, but for once I have a feeling within me other than dispair. She just so happened to be in the neighborhood last night and stopped by for a hug and nothing more, that was nice So, I will do as I said and work on me and be sure that I'm ok before anything becomes of anything.