Your H is still around and seems friendly to you. That's a plus. Even though the D is fast approaching many here will tell you it is just a paper. You can keep being his friend and a safe place for him, and you can do that with boundaries to keep your sanity intact.
Some will call that being a doormat, others will say you are a rock. It's all perspective.
Packing up his clothes should not have to be up to you but you can take them to Goodwill and get a tax deductible receipt to save on your taxes next year.
Your H came from being the youngest spoiled child living with parents to your M. He's never had the opportunity to live and learn on his own, and probably never wanted it. How is his life now living back with his parents? what is his mom like?
You are a very strong woman that handles all the variety of tasks in your life. You have a career in town, you run your farm, you take care of the livestock, you are a mother, you maintain everything. IMO those are all wonderful qualities. BUT, you may make it hard for your H to fit into your life and carve his place with you. You don't NEED him, so he doesn't feel needed. That's a big deal for these males with fragile egos. You said he'll drop what he is doing to run and help his parents. He feels needed there. How do you validate his ideas and opinions? Have you read Five Love Languages? Mars and Venus? Stop Blaming Start Loving?
Quote:
Instead of showing strength, I weakened.
Strength is great. You may feel you weakened but why do you think that is bad? Weakness does not = fault. Sometimes maybe, but not always. It's okay to have a soft side, and show it to your H.
Balancing all your duties is not easy. How many cattle and how many acres and how many miles of fences? Do you have any neighbors you can trade work with? Many farm things need more than two hands to get done (at least at my place!). Offer to help them if they help you. Do you have 4H or FFA in your area? Those groups have a ton of kids and are always looking for ways to raise funds for their activities. The local school classes look for money to pay for their class trips. Make out a task list and have them out for a day and donate to their group. Community service groups are always looking for things to keep 'delinquent' charges busy too. They usually come with supervision so you don't have to worry.
Hoping your cattle stay on the right side of the fence....
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
