i really want to reach out to you, you seem so much like me... there is no hard and fast answers, you can only do what feels right to you...
try to be a bit more forgiving of yourself. I think you are very hard on yourself, cuz I am. its ok to be a loving person. you arent weak. your amazing. its ok to be confused. its perfectly acceptable to feel in pain. i wish I could be of more help to you. your strong enough to work this all out on your own, i am only offering words to help you with yourself.
try to just concentrate on you and what feels right to do. try to detach a bit from hateful vengeful feelings; but to instead think of what you would like to remember, for yourself, LONG TERM thru all this, if it fails or not. if you have the urge to do something or say something yu know wont shame you or make you feel bad later,thats ok ... but give it real thought and consieration (cuz I never did!) if you know yuo can live with it forever then its ok. but i do mean FOREVER.
i think your doing a great job under great duress. and I think you will be alright. you just have to believe in yourself a bit more. this is your life and you know whats right for you. you know it down inside. trust yourself more. ask youtself the relevant questions and if they greenlight then do it. bc I ignored all the redlights... so dont do that.
if you orange or red light, then dont do or say it. if someone had told me once to do just simply THAT, my life would be different. but no one did!
your doing wonderfully.
When you're down to nothing, God is up to something.
