this is a big deal for me... it my sitch the ex walked out for OW and never looked back no contact and hoped we didnt know where he was (but we did) he SO wanted to disappear he never even told his mother, until I told HER where he was.
fine, I accept my ex chose this silly idiotic OW to be with, its been three years in sept, im accepting believe me... but I still cannot accept why he abandoned our three kids, blaming me all along but it was all him... mostly I cant understand his thinking. basically he says the older two (15 and 16) are like, well not worth it, bc they "gave up on him" - um well he walked out when they were 12 and 14 so... he says to people "he only cares about youngest child" (s10) and I truly think thats only bc youngest child cant judge him like older kids can.
has anyone else gone thru this, where an ex walks away frm the CHILDREN? im desperately trying to find SOME kind of empathy and havent succeeded at all. sometimes i think im the only woman who ever had a father walk out on her kids and I KNOW tha cant be right... right??
IM very mixed up in a lot of feelings about this, on one hand im trying to be FORGIVING, bc I truly think he lost his MIND and OW and her family really worked him over on the other hand I think HOW could you just WALK AWAY FROM THEM. it was like eh thought they were old enough so SEEYA.
if anyone has experience with this id appreciate it, im finding it quite difficult atm to just get OVER the whole thing, not ME but the KIDS... my chilren are lovely, and surely just bc they arent babies, thats not a reason to walk out?
I have heard vicariously that hes told people he cant talk to his kids bc of the child support he owes me, which he refuses to pay, but i dont believe it personally... its just another excuse. he told people I kept his kids frm him, but my kids heard him say he wouldnt be seeing them or talking to them so yea its all lies.
do men who do this ever regret it? do you think he'll come back into their life and more importantly, how the heck am I supposed to handle that... im desperately afraid. i want to be a good person and a good parent. i know this is THEIR choice ifhe does return but on the other hand, I want to protect my kids if hes no changed and is still the same man, bc he was evil and what he did was quite evil and wrong, and he knows it too.
i dont even know why this haunts me bc it might never happen. but you know as i get towards 2 years of him being out of this country I am more and more aware the clock is ticking for him and he might come back - particualrly if it didnt work out with OW and I dont think it would have. she was waaaay too young. she'd have moved on once she 'won'.
how much forgiveness does one EXTEND in these circumstances... ifeel horrible for m y kids. I had a wnderful father still do. I cant even relate to my OWN CHILDREN.
When you're down to nothing, God is up to something.
