So weird you're asking for advice. But you know so glad, b/c you've helped so many of us here.
Asking about pursuing too much or pulling away? I'm thinking you don't pursue too much b/c of your experiences, any serious DBer is careful not to pursue. It sounds like you pull away though and that starts a vicious cycle sometimes, so--don't do that. You've said before I'm pretty sure that sometimes DBing is almost counter-intuitive and we need to do the opposite of what we've been doing. Easier said than done I'm sure. And I do think praying and the Bible might help you have patience. Geez, it's only been 20 years right? Karen
Karen