Newbie - first post

[25yearsmlc]

You BOTH are strong amazing women finding silver linings AND MORE, in terrible situations.

Don't know your exact faiths, etc and don't care for details as long as you are fine with this suggestion. I read a book about The Gift of Change by Williamson, who helped do THIS EXACT think Kara is discussing. And recently I read another book, "Blue Like Jazz" for diff reasons and am bringing them up for diff reasons. Willaimson's book about change says it in the title and tells us HOW to find the pearls of wisdom and peace we are meant to find in these terrible times of ours. Such a good book and it helped my mom after my dad died too. It also is helping me now as I figure out how to live WITH H and d's and "find myself" without constantly having to check MY Choices with whether h will be here or there or where...meaning, with or without, I will do "x" and "y" and "z" and that is not always easy with a child at home AND a career that COULD require specific hours and nighttime networking and the idea that "well, you can WRITE anywhere!" is SO tiresome to hear. If that were true, I'd write while also doing heart surgery or arguing in court. Oh wait, I have to THINK to write...(I keep forgetting....)

ANYHOW....Blue Like Jazz IS about faith and he kind of critisizes the misuse of faithand religion in a FAIR way (like some LBSers who want to quote/throw scripture in the face of the WAS as if THAT will get the WAS to "love" them again...or think if they get the WAS to go to mass THEN the WAS will "get it" and crawl home....gotta wonder wth they are thinking but then, I myself recall trying to "guilt"my h into change but just didn't know enough scripture to use it!)

SO the author there, talks about letting OUR faith SHOW in our lives by how much strength and forgiveness we feel and let it be modelled (forgiving =letting go, not condoning, so that the feelings/thoughts/actions/reactions/ of the WAS do NOT dictate OUR mood every hour of OUR day's with us wondering why why why????)

and basically the author of BLJazz probes us into thinking about how much MORE of a diff we'll make in our children's lives with a faith of LOVE, belief in it (with or without the WAS) and moreover, the POSSIBILITY of a recon is so much higher if we are not standing there condemning them with our arms crossed, being RIGHT... (which only reinforces thte WAS choice to leave in the first place.)

Blue like Jazz is provocative, and when you are ready you may want to take a look at it. I am processing it still. But "The Gift OF Change" is a book you ARE BOTH ready for now as it will assist you on the road you have been forced to take, and to make the best of it. And I bet you'll learn that the best of THIS road, may indeed be the best of the best. Also check out that site or thread if you can b/c it validates what you going through. A few years down the road, I'd bet that NO ONE Who has actually "DBd" has ever said "MY LIFE STILL SUCKS" and 'IT'S ALL B/C OF WAS"....just does not work that way.

xoxo
(( j ))