I just finished schnarch (Passionate Marriage). Very insightful.
Best parts for me were the concepts of differentiation and self - validated intimacy (very different from DB).
Also the chapter about creating your "crucible" - i.e. Focus on your own issues, do it without guarantee of reciprocity from your S, do it for yourself, etc.
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.