WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 9

[confusedinpa]

Here is a question I used to asked myself before I did anything - will it help me towards my goal? If I was unsure I asked here. Sandi once blasted me and said, "and you call yourself a Coach?!"

Coach - that's a great question. I will have to tape that on my phone! One of the things that have been "helping" me is my wait at least 30 minute rule that I've been trying to live with. I broke it last nite when I responded in about 15 minutes, but generally I've been trying to wait 30 minutes to respond to text/email/voice mails (unless she says its urgent). The 30 minutes seems to give me time to process some of my anxiety so I can really decide whether I want to respond or not and how.

Open your mind and heart to knew ideas, thoughts and beliefs. DBing was the hardest thing I had ever done. I screwed up royally before I learned. The teachers are here, once you stop struggling and relax then you can swim on your own. You can handle it.

That reminds me of what one of my friends said - that this can be like downhill skiing (I'm not a skier but this is how he explained it to me). When you're goind downhill skiing, you will need to do things that may seem like the non-natural thing to do. He said that your natural reaction is to lean back on you skis but if you do that you will most likely crash and burn. The best thing to do is lean forward, down the slope.

So in this case, my natural reaction would be to chase/woo her like there is no tomorrow, but that, as many here remind me, will likely result in a crash and burn. So I need to do the opposite. Of course he is also the friend (a non-DB'er) who told me that he thinks I should chase/woo her as he is interprutting that detaching is the "natural" reaction. A little confusing, but I think I got the core of his message....

ps No caravan but we are on standby.

Hopefully you won't have to use it, unless it's the DB GAL road trip that PMA_Baby is suggesting!