Oh Friend Fox, I never figured him out.. He is British and from the 60's, like me. He is a serial adulterer, but occasionally got married. I was number three. I laugh at him and wait him out. His family loves me and I love them. Still.
He runs amok, and I used to get frantic. We lost a house and a lot of money. That caused a serious glitch. For me and for him. I mind being homeless. Now I just wait him out. Back he comes, like a yo-yo. Let's walk the doggie... Around the world! Clunk!
Money is what matters to my guy. I am living in a holding pattern with other family problems. I wake up earlier and earlier to read from my tower of self help "novels". Pema Chodron is most helpful. I am a wayward Lutheran who became Buddhist. Or the perfect db-er. Let go of attachments, is the refrain. It works.
I have been to marital hell and back this week. I dared to challenge my H's distance and disinterest and he fried me with a plan for divorce. He recanted. We are already divorced, really. He lives outwest but sends money to prop me up. I work and afford him insurance so he can be self employed. He almost is. He is identured to some icky dairy co-op.
This is birthday week for both him and me. He is abandoning his little boring cat family to come 'home' for dentistry. He is going to be here two whole days. He returns just often enough to keep me off balance. I do still want him to come home. I am not in the mood to start over. Unless I can move to Minneapolis and then live in the eclectic Uptown district where Prince lives and sometimes prances. H and I used to live up there and hang out.So fun.
I still admire how you shut down when your H launched. I think you saved yourself...
