How are you doing today? Thanks for the encouraging words on my post.
You said something interesting a page or two back to the effect that you know you cannot control H anymore.One of the things we learn fast in this sitch is that we can never control anyone. Some of us can't even control ourselves enough to walk by a chocolate bar (o.k that's me) so how on earth do we expect that we could control another human being? Any illusion we ever had of control was just that. An illusion. I was a big control freak now I am a huge advocate of letting go.
I know it hurts to hear about them on vacation. Is there anything you always wanted to do that you can do now to fulfill a long held dream? If so, do it and that should make you feel better.
What also works for me is taking the focus off H and putting it on God and myself. Keep your eyes fixed on the prize. The prize is coming out of this stronger and better. We can't go allow ourselves to go through something like this and emerge unchanged. THat would be a travesty. We can either emerge broken and bitter or whole and better. My attitude is that I will not allow myself to experience all this pain without emerging a better person.I have to let something positive come out of it.
I know that it can be confusing to talk to family or friends and receive so much different advice. After praying and reading a lot of books I decided what my course would be and I do not discuss details of my sitch with anyone except one or two (literally) non-judgmental people. It is good to have support but I don't want so many voices in my head.
I read something interesting this morning. I was praying about my sitch and asking the Lord, what next? I opened my inbox and there was an e-mail about facing challenging times and getting through them. It said that sometimes the only way to get through a rough day is to say what next and to take the next literal step e.g I will bathe, I will eat, I will go to the supermarket. So when I get stuck in a bd patch I plan to remind myself what to do next. It is like putting one foot in front of the other and taking those baby steps you told me about.
