I've been studying emotional abuse. And what an eye opener. Every characteristic named is what I've been enduring. Why do women (I) put up with this? Why is it so hard to see it while you're in the middle of it? Denial? Thinking it may just be in your mind? No way, he couldn't be doing this? And the fact is HE IS DOING IT! Now it is time to step away, start the healing process, build up self esteem and self worth again, and now that you know what the lion in sheep's clothing looks like, be very perceptive of what is being said, what is being demanded and what the other's expectations are. Life is a learning experience. I am amazed at the vile and disgusting way I have allowed him to speak to me. Never, ever in my life time was I ever talked to like that and I can't imagine why I would allow it this time? What happened to me? Why did I allow it? Was I way too vulnerable? Way to needy? Wanting a R at all cost even if I had to compromise my dignity? This is how I've been living, but no more. God give me the strength to keep my eyes on You and for You to supply my needs and for You to keep away from this abuse and for you to help me put a stop to this self imposed abuse.
I'm trying. But as the clock ticks by, the 3 day weekend is here. . My roommate is out of town, my family has plans. I feel very alone. Need to get use to this, huh? My plan is to go shopping after work. Can't afford to buy, but get out among people, grab a bite to eat (yuck, I hate sitting in a restaurant eating alone), go home and hope that I'll find something to keep me busy tomorrow. I'll be okay, it's just going to take time to adjust to this. I will conquer this. Stand by my friends...I'm going on this journey of finding myself, setting and reaching goals, sometimes failing, and maybe just plain ole complaining at times and I believe (sorry) that I'm going to be dragging you all with me.
enjoy the alone! Dance around naked or in your underwear, you could bring a good book to the restaurant if eating alone, I always make friends with everyone wherever I go so I don't feel alone, or you could take your meal out to a park? I like being with people too, but I think everyone needs some alone time to relax, regenerate, be silly, or whatever.
BTW, I went through the emotional abuse too. I had someone telling me how horrible I was and criticizing me a lot, I loved them, and I believed them more and more. I think it happens gradually too, not just in one day, and so you get used to what you shouldn't be getting used to. Good to realize it and work on your self-confidence and strength so it doesn't happen again! Karen
you will do just great hon, a great place to meet friends is meetup groups, go online and look for stuff you like to do, find a singles group, it's hard at the beginning but you will do better each time, this is the hard part, you will make it, believe it))))
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
I have to do this maybe to vent, maybe to get some opinions, I'm not sure why, I just know I have to put it in writing.
If someone constantly brings up somee sex fetish they have, and you have said over and over and over that you're not interest and that it goes against every core of your body and find it to be a preversion of what sex should be, but they keep on trying, what does it say about that person? They accept the fact, then the pressure starts again. "You would do it if you loved me, it really tells me that you are really into me". You say NO, but then they start making you feel like your different from "all his other women" You keep saying no, no, no, again they say okay, I'm sorry, good for a few weeks, then it all starts again.
Why can't no be the answer? Why can't it be dropped? Why do I feel like the wierd one?
With respect to your question, it means that XF is emotionally immature, manipulative, and really not that into you, rather more into how he can use you. He enjoys making you feel like crap. He enjoys tearing you down. He enjoys using the power he feels he has over you.
Quit giving him the power -- therein lie your self-abusive tendencies.
