-I had this discussion with MC in front of H. She finally convinced me that H and me ARE family for the kids but she agreed that H is not my family and I am NOT his anymore.
-I forgive him for being human and making mistakes. fb2 please, listen to me.
-Then we agree. It is no use.
Kerry, I was only joking about the lover. The trip to NY?
C said H is ruled by the kind o relationship his parents had, he has been duplicating what they had because he thought it was a good relationship. Lately he realised, that it wasnt so harmonious. His father was avoidant. He would prefer not to share with his wife anything that could create any kind of "trouble" than talk it out with her. He worked a lot,( also a journalist), he was not much around as they grew up (H told me acouple of times "what's wrong with me not seeing the kids much, I never saw my dad and I grew up fine" yeah right!!!) , and H's uncle had taken over many of his roles as a father to H, his sister and as a friend for my MiL. My FiL ended up resenting the love they all had for that uncle and never realised it was because he was "there" for them.
This year H rejected his parents M in its bigger part and their role model of a R. That was when he cried during IC when he realised how messed up the whole sitch was and how he chose to ignore that fact and actually recreate it with me. Now if you add my parents model of an R in the equation (MC said VERY healthy although my mom is controlling my dad has been leading all the yars in a very quiet way) you can see how differently we had envisioned our marriage.
