I know what the trigger was - My W turned up and she loooked absolutely lovely. She was not dressed up but her hair was nice, she had a summery dress on and lovely jewellery. I, for some reason lost a bit of control, this was after her agreeing to come in for a cup of tea, which might not sound like much but was a very small positive. She started talking about whether she was going to go to a local night club, and for some reason I had this vision of men pawing all over her etc. I don't know whether she was trying to deliberately agitate me, but if she was it worked, or she is so detached now, she feels she can talk to me like it doesn't matter anymore, or she felt comfortable enough to talk to me like a friend.
For some reason this annoyed me and from that point, unfortunately, the conversation deteiorated into an argument, and her saying she would not come into the house again. During this exchange she also said other than me, she did not know anybody that was out of work. I was annoyed at this remark as it was hurtful and uncalled for.
She has not spoken or texted me today which is unusual for her. I did apologise for TWICE asking her if she had a boyfriend, which again I do not know why I asked, I sort of lost my mind I think. She thanked me for apologising in a text and then asked me for my lawyers name so that the deed of Settlement could be sent to me.
I felt this request could have waited for a day or so, just accept my apology and say no more.
Julia, I hope your week has gone well. I have been very up and down, and as you might read I have backslid a bit due to me seeing my wife looking lovely and me losing my cool some what. I hope I have not done too much damage but she has not spoken or texted me today. She refused to tell me where she was when she rang yesterday to pick up the children, again a major backslid as she said we had agreed not to ask where and what we are doing.
I pray I have not done too much damage. I am just going to let the dust settle, but I am finding it hard at the moment as when I see her I just seem to go to pieces.
Bomb dropped: 19/12/08 Me:48 WAW:41 D:10 S:6 Married: 15 years
