I agree - taking on a lover would just make you feel extreme guilt in the end. Not what you need right now. But I never understood the trip to New York.
Your H is trying in his own way. From an outsiders perspective, it just seems like we could just duct tape the two of you together for a day and everything would work out. I know it is much deeper than that though. Maybe you are over-thinking too much and your expectations are too high.
What kind of relationship did his parents have? Was his father distant or lacking in affection towards his mother.
