< I am 100% committed to my family which for the last 2 years does NOT include H because HE chose to go after his...whatever. I am 1000% committed to my family of 3 and that's why I am still here. End of story.
H is part of your family. You are still angry; you have not forgiven him tho' he is back. You have to get beyond this. And the story does not end any time soon.

< I am not 100% committed to my M with H. Not even 50%.
Anything less that 100% is no use.