Not a bad response, really: I love the idea of being friends with a man who wants to get down my pants and get jiggy wit it. Just not with one who's hurt my children. Say - you don't have Rock Star's phone number do you?
LOL. I have rock star's email...and boy could I have fun with that...
SP- Brass tacks here. I have no job other than biz I'm working on that may bring in money if I can stay off of this site long enough to focus. I have a ton of debt in my name in addition to H's debt. I am super emotional and distracted most of the time. I have H who is surrounded by friends while I am struggling to find one friend who can come out with me tonight (they all are with their kids or working or with spouses. You know, regular life)...
It is hard not to sink into feeling like I'm getting sh** end of the stick. I read those threads where H's are talking about WAW who expect to D and still be SAHMs. Well, I DON'T want to D but I will deal with the repercussions in a much more substantive way (I'll likely lose time with kids).
Sometimes I think about my efforts to detach and my mojo-conjuring efforts and I feel like I'm just doing what he's doing (though his MAY be without so much introspection but I don't know). Putting on a poker face, getting dolled up, going out, feigning aloofness when there is so much going on inside...
Ya, it feels good to be La Moja but I'm a crumbling little sissy girl inside...
Oh, and of course I'm hormonal so there's always that...
Lawyer called representing CC company and I lost my sh** on three people...and then the bubbling hostility of where the f is H???
But, this is my life, my creation and I have to find a way out of it...
Do you really think I should get into ANY of that sh** with H? The kids, the friendship, my judgements? He comes back next week, don't know where to start and as sick as it is, I hate that par for the course, he will come back to me bitching about bills and debt and "real" life grown up boring stuff.
I wish I could just handle it all and be cool...
You want to buy some art? I've got some good stuff here.
