That's why I love this board. 2x4 whack when you need one!
I've also been perplexed as to why she would want me to ask. Talk about a selfish position. She has a death grip on this belief that she did nothing wrong. She didn't feel loved in our M, so she went elsewhere. The fact that she lied, used me, manipulated me, and betrayed me are all irrelevant details. I made it clear I would change myself in major ways to make our M what she wanted, but she chose to abandon our M and break up our family.
I know her friends are supporting her view that she is justified in doing what makes her happy. They see her with the affair "glow" and are envious. My behaviour hasn't exactly been consistent that I have a problem with what she's doing either, except that I never ask about it, and now she wants me to do that. Maybe she just wants that last bit of validation to let go of her guilt.
As for not having contact, our kids require us to have quite a bit of contact, but I can try to stay quite dim. This dinner we have planned will be our first time alone together since our separation five months ago. Maybe it's a mistake, but I'm curious how it'll go.
stuck808, I hate the idea of chasing after her. I agree with you 100%, but I'm at a loss for what else to do. I know she'll never come back unless she thinks there's real chance for things to be different. I need to let go and move on, but I want to leave her with the nagging feeling that maybe things really could be different.
