Confused I can so relate to where you're head is at. The best thing is to focus on detaching from her. I know it's one of the most difficult things to do in the position you are in, but it really is the only chance you have.

Did you ever read the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle? The condensed version of it, Practicing the Power of Now and the other book, Stillness Speaks were very helpful for me to keep it in the Now and not project my mind forward or back.

I'll be checking in on you.

MySitch
Me-47
STBXW-41
D-5
S-8
ILYBNILWY-01/08
Want a D- 01/09
Physical Sep-01/10
D filed-06/10
Got 50% custody=09/11
Ride that wave!