One more thought on this... It isn't really fair that so many of us "good girls" (I was raised Catholic and conservative, brainwashed to avoid sexuality within myself and with others) need their men to "take them" and lead them through the exploration of intimacy. It puts so much pressure on the man.
I've often thought... Gee, if I were a guy, and someone told me it was all up to me to "take" my woman and know exactly how to guide her through these adventures... I'd sure be nervous about knowing what to do and even more nervous about doing it right. (Note: You shouldn't worry too much about all this stuff, because your woman has a responsibility to guide you and give you feedback on what's working for her, in particular. I just know that I'd still feel pressure as the Type A control freak that I am.)
I also think this "good girl" mentality explains why some of us just get angry and cold and withdrawn, unable to communicate our desires or initiate too much. We were taught to be ladies, not "whores," so we are conditioned to rely on our men to coax us into enjoying our "bad girl" sides for a while.
It's scary stuff for women and men, I think.
I hope all of you guys get a chance to work through these issues someday, but you probably have several layers of other issues to peel away first so that trust and desire are calibrated properly.
I'm sorry that these discoveries weren't revealed to you long before the bombs. It isn't fair.
