Quote: "Don't be mad at me. Your problem is in the mirror, not in ME." I always threw it back in his lap and I did it calmly and firmly. AND it worked.
How is it that H can be mad at the very people, his family and friends, that care about him the most. That have been there for him all these years. These are the people that he claims don't care about him. He doesn't want anyone to care about him, if they do he treats them like crap. So far S3 hasn't been affected, but I worry that H will turn on him one day. In looking back, H has been like this for quite awhile. And T2, I think you're right he should be mad at himself for treating everyone the way he does and he does have it backwards. No one's mad at him, he's mad at himself. He's pushing away everybody, thinking he can start all over, new, w/OW. At the beginning of this mess it might have seemed that way, but I think he's realizing he can't start over new, there is too much unfinished business in his life, too many things pulling him back.
H should be thanking god for everything good in his life not cursing everything good in his life. My H has lost his sole and doesn't know who he is anymore, he wants to be the guy he was when he was younger and instead he's getting older and his body is worn out. I don't think his body is as worn out as he thinks it is, I think his way of thinking is worn out and that's a lot easier to fix then a body that's worn out. He just doesn't realize it.
His whole life is coming back at him and he is struggling to figure out where he belongs and if he CAN be where he belongs. His sons and me are his reality and he can't deal with reality.
I don't feel the need to call him as much anymore, he doesn't call me every day like he used to either. Something is changing, maybe he's pulling away so that he can really figure out what he wants. I don't know. I've been leaving him alone for the most part, too.
Nothing I can say will make any difference...I'm finally realizing and accepting this. I can't do anything but work on myself, hoping that he can follow. I think KAW pointed this out awhile back, but it's finally making sense to ME.
Maybe what I'm getting at his I can't say anything more to H that he hasn't already heard before, I can't apologize anymore for the past, I've done that enough. I have to work on ME and just be the best ME that I can be and see what happens.
