Things happen for a reason. It's great that your former spouse apologized and that you were able to listen.
My dad wanted me to know how badly he felt all his life for what he did to me... I didn't make it in time to hear it from him, but he gave that message to my brother.
It was nice to hear, but unnecessary. My need for validation disappeared when forgiveness came. Isn't strange.. what I thought I'd always want (my dad apologizing, hearing that he suffered emotionally from what he did) I didn't need when I no longer harbored anger, bitterness, resentment. All I cherished was knowing that I had a daddy, that I was finally allowed to feel the love that never felt safe to express.
As we progress on our journeys, our growth what we thought we'd need is replaced with the joy of what we have.
I do love your take on things. I always find your words to be calming for me.
It is funny how perspective changes and although I didn't ever expect to hear the words "I'm sorry" from my XW, it was nice to know.
I'm not angry w/her anymore. I still carry some sadness, but not anger. My sadness is for what is lost and will always be a part of me, I think. I'm also sad for how lost she is personally and I'll always love her even though I'm no longer in love w/her.
I just hope she can find herself for the benefit of not only her, but for our D as well.
However, it is out of my hands and not my concern any longer. My only focus now is on me and my D.
Is she aware of that you are a Husky fan? To me that shows commitment to something even in the darkest of times (0 and 12). Most others would have jumped ship to be a Sun Devil or a Wildcat fan. You know that someday they may return to their 1991 form. I am old enough to remember the days of Sonny Sixkiller.
You sound so good, my friend, and maintaining such clarity on what matters to you most.
As things wind down for you at school, I imagine you'll start to have a lot more time for you...and you means something so much more now than it did before...
Yes, I think last night she finally used the term "boyfriend" w/me, so I think we can slip into that category now.
This is a new sort of relationship for me as I'm pretty sure they are at times after we've been married and disappointed. I'm treading slowly, but I'm more open than she is. She's been burned in the past, so she's a bit more guarded.
I'm getting better at just relaxing and not worrying about things until they come up. This has helped me as I work through my deep-ingrained fears of abandonment and rejection (got to love how those parents can mold us for life, eh?).
It is more and more confortable these days living inside my own skin, which I think is totally cool!
She on the other hand is afraid she'll get burned again or that I'm one of those "too good to be true" type of guys. Well, I'm not "too good to be true," but I am close, if you ask for my non-biased and humble opinion.
So, I understand her heistation to not let her guard down completely and it honestly doesn't bug me too much. I've got the attitude - which I tell her about - which is, I'm fine w/things right now and I like her a lot. When she's ready to let her defenses down, she'll do it and if I get tired of waiting, I'll let her know.
Other than that, Im' pretty laid back and excited to see this thing go where it can go.
As for her athletic ability, she's a good athlete, but never has golfed. However, she has said she'd be open to trying it, so I'm pretty stoked about that. As for ice skating, she's a skater, so I'm ina bit of a situation tere as I do well to just stay upright on skates.
She's a former basketball player - a little point guard - so she's liking the fact I've coached and played before. Who knows? If it goes further, mayb I'll get back into coaching and have someone who suppports my coaching instead of resents it.
I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to you, but I've got your FB message and expect to hear from me soon.
Thanks for your well-wishes, my friend! I'm feeling good and this summer will be a good one for me to build things for me! I spent last summer still reeling from the impending divorce, so this summer will have a completely different look to it.
Not much to report for me except I'm finally done w/school for the year. I spent this past week going in and finishing up things that I didn't get done during the 1st semester when I was still working through my D.
Anyway, it is such a relief to be finished and able to "relax" and go in to work when I want to this summer rather than being forced to go in and work when I could be at home, on the golf course, in the gym, or wherever.
Things are going fine w/the new GF. She's had a rough week w/stress w/work and w/her son's birthday (and dealing w/the other side of her S's family). So, we didn't get to spend much time w/each other this week but we should be able to see each other tomorrow and Sunday for a bit.
Next week I'll be w/D in Georgia for my neice's wedding, so once I get back from that, things w/GF should be much calmer for her and we'll see where we take off from there.
So, tonight was a laid back Friday for me...watched my beloved Mariners lose in extra innings on the internet and had a few beers while I caught up on all of my overdue laundry.
Exciting to say the least, but we all need a calm Friday every once in a while, right? Well, at least that's what I'm telling myself so I don't feel like I'm too boring.
It's great to hear that things are so good for you. "Getting a life" is such a weird concept until once the dust settles, the tears dry, the heart starts mending all of a sudden you DO have a life that centers on your own activities, awareness, goals rather than being stuck in a situation out of your control.
