K, You got to the bomb in baby-steps. That's how Earthquakes happen - the stress builds up a little at a time, until one day ... snap. And you have spent most of your time here fighting yourself. You simply have to ask yourself: are you 100% committed to your marriage and family? In which case all your dreams and feelings that come and go will take a back seat. That's the "love decision" you have to take - if your answer is no then you (precious K) are drifting towards the affairs, WAWs, MLCers, etc. I know you are fighting yourself trying to make that choice. To me it is a clear choice. You simply cannot have it BOTH ways. So John is asking the right questions and thank God you still have the opportunity to choose the right answer.
