Their calm and confidence is almost scary. Are they really that foolish? If it was just wife, I could write it off to the BPD and general wayward's fogginess, but MIL too? Might they have some ace up their sleeve of which you're not aware??
Yes, they are that foolish. Yes, it is scary to me... but to put things in perspective their backgrounds are kind of unique. MIL lived with her own mother until she was in her 30s, and FIL handled virtually everything. After he died MIL was calling me asking if it was okay to pay bills. My preacher pointed out in an IC session that he felt their entire family was sheltered by FIL, and that MIL was basically just a hanging vine.
Instead of calm and confidence I'd describe it as shock and denial. It is the "This isn't happening lalala" mantra that they believe will get them through the D without giving up anything. They have lived their lives being sheltered and taken care of... and they were hoping for the judge to be a new surrogate father to give them what their entitlement demands.
Rude awakening time.
Originally Posted By: Puppy Dog Tails
Altho, if they did, I suspect you wouldn't be seeing the "nicey-nice" from them, and they'd be back in something that looks more like their old mode.
They have never been in a legal situation, they just assumed that they write a check and magically the lawyer hands them what they want. The fact that all they've heard is bad news from her attorney (considering 99% of fathers would lose in my situation... but not everyone is holding as much evidence as I am) and the thought that maybe they could not get everything they ask for is foreign to them because they've been shielded from reality.
They have a limited range of coping mechanisms, and when threats/belligerence didn't get what they wanted I think they are hoping to kill me with kindness. And I think it is killing them that I am UNREADABLE during these custody exchanges.
My attorneys know every dark little secret I have - and they aren't concerned at all. I really have nothing to lose and everything to gain at this point.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
