Magnificent

[mishka422]

The more you tell us over and over, that this is JUST friendship, there is NO chance of reconciliation from him and you dont want it anwyay.. the more I dont believe you!!

Seriously Ali...believe it. I may hate myself, but not enough to do that to me. He's a nice man in most ways, just not the man he once was and I can't live with the one he is now. So...no reconciliation.

I can't really ask him those questions right now because he has no income. If I thought I could get an answer, then I would definitely ask.

Do you ever think that he thinks about what his actions have done to me? I wonder if he cares one way or the other. Just a passing thought. Hmmmm....that would require him to have feelings for someone other than himself....HA! Yeah right!

[mishka422]

I don't think I'm going to have to broach the subject at all. I came home from work, he was in the garage going through some of the stuff he brought with him. I finished making dinner and he came in, ate just some of the vegetables and then told me he had to go "talk to someone" with this sad, pitiful look on his face. Very emotional sounding. Then he said he might have someplace to live and be "out of my hair". Yeah...after knowing he was at the broom's this morning and needs to "talk to someone" and "may have a place to live".....I know exactly what he's doing. What a tool! Doesn't even have the b*lls to just speak the truth out loud. I haven't given him any reason not to. I hate being in the dark.

I can guarantee you all right now. If he goes back to her now, after all the crap of the last month, I won't be allowing him overnights with Marc. This is just too much drama for Marc to be in the middle of. He's not paying CS, I can deny his overnights. He can still see him, but on my terms. Good grief!

[StrgMarvelousWmn]

Mish--

If you have vaca coming and just want to get away, catch me in the alternate. I have a five bedroom house, my mom lives less than a mile away and has a 4 bedroom house I can send some of my kids to. You can come and just go sit by the ocean everyday. Oh, and I cook pretty good, too, at this bed and breakfast. We just have to make sure it is not at the same time I am going to go visit KellyJo.

Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW

[mishka422]

Thanks for the offer SMW. I do wish I had some vacation coming but I don't. I hardly have any left for the year and it's only May. Bummer. I have to use a lot of it to take mom to various Dr.'s appointments.

Gabe is apparently out for the night. Yeah....whatever. I flat out told him good luck and I hope he gets what he wants from his talk with her. He didn't try to deny that was where he was so at least he didn't insult my intelligence. He's such a dufus!
Marc was asking me when he would be back and I told him he wouldn't be. He seemed ok with that so I guess I shouldn't worry about how this is affecting him. Hopefully he is just seeing this for what it is, his dad taking up residence while he works things out with his gf. No biggie, right?

Horrible that my child has to see this. I realize too late now that this was NOT the right thing to do. I think it opened up more wounds than I care to admit. I'm definitely not a strong enough person to deal with him and his shennanigans any longer.

[MichelleLT]

Well, time for him to leave then.

Don't beat yourself up about it.

((((((Mishka)))))))

[Reincarnated]

(((hugs))) what a mess...

[mishka422]

Understatement!

I'd much rather just live my hum drum boring penniless life than deal with his ration of crap. Won't have to after today I imagine. Of course, little does he know, he won't be having any overnights with Marc until he stabilizes his living situation. I won't have my child in the middle of that mess. Let him take me to court...I don't care. He would be wise not to do that though since I can hit him for months of back CS!

[ernest88]

ya know..I don't view it as a "mess". I see it as a learning experience...and it sounds like you learned for $10...and your heart was not broken...and Marc will be minimumly affected..

let's sit back and say what if Gabe had been there for the next two months..you too got along wonderfully...he dropped the broom..the old feelings started surfacing again..Gabe gets a job....things are "honkey donkey" as an Indian friend of mine once said... and then all of a sudden...old broom/new broom rears her ugly head again....

ya feel me???

it can always be worse

[mishka422]

Oh, I feel 'ya! That would have been HORRIBLE! Not sure those feelings could ever come back. Not sure I have it in me anymore to be close to anyone. Although I miss companionship and the warmth of a man's arms, I don't miss having to be constantly responsible for another adult. It's just not all it's cracked up to be.

[ernest88]

Mish...just know..things will get better...ya have to believe..

I've struggled and I know it's hard..

lots of good around you, the bad parts are just blocking your view of the good..

hang in there..life will get better..the worm will turn...