I think you, at least, have a good chance at saving your M, making all your efforts and difficulties worth it.
I, on the other hand, never really had a chance -- though I could not have possibly foreseen that before hand.
Worse still, now that she has gotten the freedom she so demanded, instead of easing up or letting go of her hatred, my ex seems to be getting progressively worse.
To illustrate, the latest missive came last night via email, following my nightly phone conversation with my S's:
Quote:
S8 needs some non-fiction books for next week for many of the homework questions & he can't use the same number two weeks in a row.
Thanks
Also. Talking to S8 for 30 min when he is supposed to be doing his homework is VERY distracting. If you want to help your son you will wait until at least 8 on homework nights & keep it short. I'm sure you are ranting right now in your head about how it's your right to talk to your son as long as you want whenever you want. Which is true if all you care about is your rights & not S8's well-being. We each have a right to half our sons, so should we just slice them in half?
XW is just being insanely petty, again, as usual. In retrospect I figure she just does not like the fact that I and my sons had a very good and enjoyable call; S8 was especially enthusiastic in telling me about what went on during his day. It takes a little bit to warm him up and then he's just overflowing with words.
XW is obviously jealous that her sons could have any rapport with me. She makes it very clear here and in all her words and deeds that she feels she should not have to share them.
What makes this even more egregious is that I had concluded my call with my sons -- and not two minutes later they had called me back so she could tell me she about S8's new homework assignment, but then decided to send an email instead. She then let S8 continue his conversation with me. S8 and I discussed his school assignments in more detail -- and we again had a good exchange.
S8 would have talked forever, had I let him. And to xW's credit, I will admit that I began to wonder if S8 was beginning to use our conversation to stall going back to completing his nightly homework.
But the point of all this is that xW continues to criticize me for trying to have a conversation with my S's. I mentioned that she accused me of "interrogating" S8 this past weekend.
It's funny. It bothers me, yes, but not like it would have at one time. I see her pettiness and I am no longer inclined to engage her in her drama. I do feel the need to say something to her, to let her know she is crossing the line. But for her sake I am beginning to feel she's no longer worth the effort. These last couple of years have taught me how barren of cheese her tunnel really his. It makes her to be so pathetic and pitiful.
And that makes me sad for all of us -- me, her and our children.
But it is what it is. And keeping the Serenity Prayer in mind, I realize that her behavior is something to which I have neither control nor responsibility.
