WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 9

[confusedinpa]

Sorry to disagree with.stuck but I see it as diffusing an already agitated person. CIPA it sounds like you listened and understood the point W was making and stated that. Nothing wrong there and if she crosses a boundary or you feel controlled then let your actions set things straight.

Cire and Stuck

I see both points that the two of you are making. I do agree that it seems like she was trying to control what's going on again. I decided to listen and validate before I offered my perspective that she could call like I do.

She did make sense on why the parent with the kids should call as with young kids, the schedules can be very difficult. She tried to say that it shouldn't be a routine as it could be difficult if I miss calling. I did define my N.U.T as I will call the kids if she doesn't call me.

I do see/think that she's getting a sense of what its doing relative to the kids. My 7 year old is really acting up, who is her favorite do no wrong child, to the point she said she slapped him in the face (I didn't tell her my 3 year old already told me that). She told me that my 7 year old then asked to go back home to Daddy. I'm sure that pissed her off.

I think the kids are both angry and they are blaming her.

I think that's what hurts me the most right now. Seeing what its doing to the family/boys. I told my therapist & friends that if it wasn't for the kids I probably wouldn't be fighting so hard. No because I don't love her but more so that I just want to stop the pain. Problem is if I don't keep fighting, my pain for me may stop, but it will be replaced by the greater hurt knowing I gave up and the kids pain continues

I do pray for strength and wisdom

Thanks for all the support