Quote: what IF things DON'T work out, will this all be in the past?
The past was too much a part of my present before the bomb. Does that make sense? I was bringing up my H's past and slapping him in the face with it time and time again. I was doing the same to myself. The past is the past, it cannot be changed and so it is best to let it go.
This is something I've been working on, learning from it and moving on. I'm mentally preparing myself for things to go either way, detaching. If things don't work out with H then at least I'll be a better person. IF he can't rise to the occasion, see that I'm different, that I'm not accepting of his treatment of me anymore, and continues to remain unchanged, than he's really not someone I want to remain married to anyway.
BUT, I do see some really small changes happening, things that I would never have expected from him, just recently in fact. They're not consistent, but I've taken notice. He's not happy either, I would think he'd be getting tired, also. I just need to be his friend and he can be my other child for now.
He wanted to have another baby with me, but I thought no, two children were enough.
Cathy
P.S. And I never thought I'd be the one watching football with S3 and answering his questions.
