Back again for some sage advice!

[limbo]

SD/VC

Thank you both for your response's

SD, what you say makes alot of sense in alot of ways I have been waiting for H to make the moves, in a way I think I feel that he has to show he wants this and if he isn't doing what I feel he should then he isn't really trying, I know that its silly because he isn't a mind reader, and I know he is doing what he can, and feels he is doing well.
I know I have to tell him what I want, and what I am doing to him isn't really fair.
I also know that I have kept the walls up, because I am waiting for the next thing to happen, and I know that also isn't fair, because there may never be a next thing, and I need to start acting as such! So thank you for making me take a look at that!

VC...The vacations themselves were good, the first trip, H got kidney stones before our holidays had even really started and I didn't act very well, H was getting sick alot and I had very little patience for it, and it was after this event of the stones and how I handled the whole thing that H turned to ow.
The 2nd time we went I had been worried all along that h was just going because of the kids, and I was worried that we would get back and he would leave, which he swore wouldn't happen, however he had gotten back with ow about 6 weeks before we left, the vacation itself was good(i thought) and we seemed to be fine, however the morning after we got back, h wakes me up and tells me he is leaving, and going back with ow, he ulimately didn't, now I just associate our problems to going to Florida, and I don't really want to go.
I have resolved to myself that I am going to speak to H, and also apologize to him for having expectations that he will never be able to meet! and also tell him again about the fear I have for the vacation.

Thanks for the great feedback, I always know that I can come here and feel that I am not abnormal!