The adventure continues--the saga goes on

[AFWAW]

could you call this a MLC

Someone mentioned that yesterday and I plan to do some more research on it this weekend.

Again, her discussing the status of your marriage with a 13 yr old daughter is way off base...have you talked to her about this at all?

I did discuss it with her and she stated that she could talk to D about anything she wanted to. Very angry but still called me the next day?

Another reason for you to consider to see a lawyer...again, this is not a prelude to divorce...just a smart business plan.

I'm holding off on this one till I determine that the OM is still in the pic. I'm sure he is but I want to verify. I want a name so that when she denies it to me I can give her the name, watch the expression on her face and contest the divorce on grounds of adultry.

The interaction you have with the phone calls and your b-day (congrats on 40) meal is a hard decision

It is a hard decision and I'm still wrestling w/ it.

do not believe a single thing she tells you...she is a liar in everything she says and most of what she does...that is just how it is when you live a life of lies.

I keep telling myself that but it doesn't hurt to hear it from others. It keeps my perspective where it needs to be. I mean, if you keep lying, you'd get good and practiced at it after a while, right?

Right now you are reacting to her actions...she has had nothing but positives in her life...apartment, no responsibilites about D, single life style, come and go as she wants, buy anything, etc...

I have been reactive quite a bit, I'll agree. I will disagree on the next statement though. I know she's not feeling that great as my friend at her work has told several times that she is NOT happy in his opinion. He's a pretty good judge of character IMO. He told me that the wife almost seems like she's putting up a front at times when he sees her but that she is in fact not happy--some people can just tell. Anyway, I hope he's right--I know it's not something I should be happy about BUT it does make me feel better never the less.

You are in a holding pattern...from what you have told us this will last until Oct if you let it...the OM will PCS and your W will decide if she wants to come home or find another OM or try to PCS to where the OM is...perhaps that is her reason for the Warrant Officer program? Is he Army?

It won't last that long for me if OM is still in the pic. Now, if he's not, then I will not be happy but ok w/ the seperation if she wants to work on the marriage--and no, I'm not holding my breath on this one. I thought he might be Army as well but once I find out who he is will reveal this.

Do you have a worse case and best case scenario plan established...what do you want if you divorce adn what do you want if you stay married? Try to make a list...if she comes home and still sees OM can you accept that? If OM moves in or she moves in with him can you accept that? Very few marriages survive that level of betrayl...at least she is "faking" the affair and has not shacked up with the OM...yet. If that happens you need to consider an immediate legal plan...

Worst case, we divorce, I float my resume in VA and get hired. I retire from the AF and move very quickly. Wife will kick up her heels hard but will have nothing to say and will not see her D that often. Sad, but it will give my D stability w/ no more PCSing and I will have a chance to start a new life away from the wife. Or, I stay in the AF and PCS--not as desirable being a single Dad but it's still a good job.
Best case, we reconcile. I'll stay in and we'll plan our future together--this is what I desire of course.

Consider telling her via letter or email that for your own wellbeing that you would prefer to not talk at all unless it is an immediate need for your daughter

I did a bit more research on this and found that it is recommended that if OM is still in picture(I still need to verify this and I will)then it is best to break contact all the way and I will.

Whew, stupid heartache. It should be a crime for the wife to do this--oh wait, it is! Ugh!