I always have baby here and ready for visits even though half the time I know he won't show. I want to go back to court prepared for everything. He is missing literally 2 (and sometimes 3) visits out of the 4 per week. I imagine having visits in my home sucks for him and also its not real appealing to have to find a ride or walk. But his choices got him to this place yet he takes NO responsibility. He gets his license back in October so we will see if things change then.
My guess for the no show yesterday was that he was drinking. He was off work so had alot of time on his hands. He knows I am such a detective with the drinking and its right in our paperwork that he is not to drink 12 hours prior to visits. Then again, that is my best guess.
My older kids came home from the long weekend away with their dad. I was so happy to see them and so was baby. We have a busy month coming...2 birthdays (20 and 18) and a high school graduation!
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
So, we both have a HS grad - cool! Kind of exciting huh? What do you have planned?
I also have one SIL BD and one grad child (that we don't get to see because his dad is A. - H has been calling him to invite to AA meetings and is prepared to have him move in with him if his current GF kicks him out) I have three grandchildren that I do not see because of SIL who is A - the other SIL was A but has almost two years sobriety with a second child on the way in July!
So, what am I saying? It runs in families and now that my H is facing his problem, he sees what happened to his sons and now his grandchildren. Evid the oldest grandchild who I never met is 16/17 and has already been in rehab. What a handfull! But the blessing part is... when people become better. It is a rough road but it can go either way.
I am excited and sad about D's graduation. Its bittersweet. She is so ready to move on in life, but I love her to stay my little girl. This is the D that has given me a bit of a run for my money. Not horrible, but I have had to be on top of her a bit more than my older D. She has a very strong personality. We had our rough patch when she was about 15/16. Now we get along great and are very close.
Her graduation is on the 12th and after her dad and I are having a big party for her. He and I have always been able to work well together and get along great.
What are your plans for your d's graduation Kass?
Anyway, not one little word from exh yesterday. He only sent one text in the last 3 days! Very strange. I love it as now I can feel how detaching really is. I can only guess what suckage drama is going on in exh's life. Today is a visit day so ????
Yes, A runs in families. Exh's father died at 42 of a drug/alcohol overdose. 75% of exh's siblings have addiction issues as well. Even some of the siblings kids have issues. You would think they saw enough and wouldn't want to be like that. Well, exh does think he isn't like his father but his mother says he is right where his father was at that age. *Sigh** I have to keep baby out of that cycle.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Exh is here. His first exwife dropped him off with one of his daughters. He took baby outside to see her and slammed the door in my face like he didn't want me to come outside. Supervised visits loser. Exwife was gushing about how much she loves her daddy and brother....Please!
He just makes me sick.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Like you, my exh and I are having a party on the 15th - her grad day. We work well together also. My H will be there too should be fun since both men don't get along. I am wondering if exh gf will come - she had to be called by me personally and ordered to show up for my son's grad. Exh's gf is very proper and intimidated by me (so say the kids) I am happy and sad too. We have had a mixed R all along - we are very different in many ways and thinking but with everything out of the way - we both value a R and love each other. She's my baby so it's harder for me, but it is worse because I know both kids will be out of the home in Aug. Exh worries if I will be OK alone - may not be. H is really changing.
Exh was so rude today. I don't know if he felt empowered with his exwife dropping him off, or if he had to put on a show for his other D. She hasn't seen baby in 4 months! Things were going along fine but he was really snappy with me. I left them alone to play and the coach/friend of mine that exh thinks I am dating came by to drop some stuff off. I met him outside. We were out there chatting for a couple of minutes and my friend was facing the house and I had my back to the house. My friend said that exh's d was staring out the window. Whatever. My friend is way more of a man than exh could ever be and he knows it.
After he left my older d's came home and baby went running up to them wanting them to hold her. They are never here when exh comes as they don't want to see him but tonight they were. Exh was getting frustrated that baby wanted nothing to do with him. What does he expect? He sees her once a week! I quietly told my girls to go in thier rooms so he can continue his time with baby. Exh's d was complaining that she wanted to leave and they had to walk. They left and exh was very rude and short with me.
All my fault again!
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
You have the power right now, SO2. That's why he's pissed off and being all mad. You are in control and he hates it. Just keep your cool. Stay in control by not indulging his ridiculous behavior and being happy with your life. Live in the present.
I kinda had a chuckle picturing him throw his little hissy fit and closing the door on you. Been there, done that with H. I actually DID giggle when my H did that....they are sooooo grown up
M 5yrs 1st baby-girl born 6/18/08 Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07 D Final 07/10 OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her Me, now - happier than I ever was with him
Hey. I don't know if you've seen this or not. You may have been the one to send it to me...who knows. I'm not sure if it applies to you the way it applies to me. But, I know that where I am now, this hit on so many chords..it was scary. Just thought I'd pass it on. Hope you're well.
M 5yrs 1st baby-girl born 6/18/08 Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07 D Final 07/10 OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her Me, now - happier than I ever was with him
Thanks for that BS! I saved it. Its all very true.
Been quiet the last day or so. I was sick yesterday and that wasn't easy with a toddler! I just wanted to sleep and she just wanted to play or get into things she shouldn't.
I only heard from exh once yesterday. It was midday and he asked if I depositied the cs he gave me yet. I replied no, why? I wanted to know if anything was wrong with it. He never replied so I put it in the bank yesterday. Never heard from him again.
Today is a visit day......:) Oh, boy!
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
