given all you have said and the committment you have shown, I think then for you, you have to try all you can to sleep peacefully at night, no matter the outcome.
I think the fact this OW wont speak at all with you MUST be an indication its not OVER for her and shes still FIGHTING, for your H. thats a bit of a concern for you and extra worry you dont need while trying to rebuild, so I guess you have to talk about that with your H. and about the fact that tho he may feel guilty and so on, you wont be tolerating long chats and talks etc or him visiting her all the time - if its over its over. I would suggest to him he gets a special phone "just for her" and that nothing is hidden on this phone, and shes told very firmly shes only to call about the baby.. an if she cant do that then firmer boundaries will ahve to be set, to protect the marriage... you deserve some respect here
I think given what it looks like (with ow being so angry an such) its really likely your H does want to be truthful and true to you, or why else would she be so p'd at you.. btw pls make sure she cannot contact you if she wants to just send nasty putdowns to you... um she put herself in this sitch! shes just going to have to know she cant reach you EVER. I would also say OW cant have ANY email contact. only the special phone thats IT. ie really limit how she can get to your family cuz if shes an angry woman she'll just make so much trouble...
H has to realise this stuff fully with you and agree with you on it and limit the contact, and tell her truthfully its to get his m back. he has to MAN UP here and TELL THE UGLY TRUTH. remind him he was quite HAPPY to do that with YOU once.
I hope it all goes well for you; you sound pretty together, and up to spark on the OW's tricks... its a matter of divide and conquer for her, so thats why its imporant for that possibility to be completely removed... i think if it is, you two have a great shot at this xoxoxo
When you're down to nothing, God is up to something.
