I am very sorry that you are here. Puppy is right - his experience is also very consistent with my own.
I aggressively exposed my wife's affair and dishonesty to my in-laws and tightened up "wiggle room" as much as possible so that it was ultra hard for the affair to be conducted. Granted, it still took place but I resolutely refused to be intimidated by my wife's wrath, manipulation and threats. Also, it put tremendous pressure on the affair and created lots of conflict between OM and my wife. Don't be abusive - but do be honest and firm.
I exposed my wife's adultery and was very "hardball" with her without being abusive and whilst simultaneously acknowledging my terrible wrongdoings in the marriage. I make no apologies for being tough with her.
She will respect you for doing this even if she is furious and she will probably hate it that she respects you.
It is your duty as a man to be strong. For Heaven's sake do not, under any circumstances allow this OM to bang your wife in your home without doing a thing about it.
Me: 46 W: 46 T: 23 M: 20 DS12 DD11 DS5
W left: 01/28/08 Discovered OM: 02/26/08 W back for 9 days: 04/08 W returned 05/21/08 EA/PA - 01/08-07/09 W's MLC 2008-2014 (realised this much later)
