Find some way to point out to her when she is blaming me or trying to boss me around, which when I pointed this out to her she said she didn't meanto come off like that.
Don't try to point anything out to her. She is just NOT going to hear anything coming from you.
That is the point of going dark, to remove yourself entirely from the situation. Then when she realizes that she still isn't happy and her life still isn't all she wants she will not have you to blame.
Whether or not she then seizes the opportunity to take a long, hard look at herself is the unknown. Remember that you can't control her feelings or actions, you can only control your own.
As for the rest of the conversation, she will continue to lie about the EA/PA and will not back down. I know it's hard to accept, I was incredulous when BF continued to stick to his story even when confronted with cold hard facts that proved he was cheating and lying. That's just what they do. There's no way to understand it, just have to try to accept it for what it is.
Back to my original point - all of this is upsetting you which points to the fact that you have not detached. I really think going dark will help you get there.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
