In the Army we used to have these fire-and-movement exercises, and the longer they went on the more complex they became. The lesson was always the same -- fire on the 25-meter target first, because that's the guy who will kill you. Old Ivan out there at 300 meters? He's probably just as bad a shot as you -- wait for him to get closer.
It seems to me in reading your sitch that your health is your 25-meter target. Your finances are your 50-meter target. WAW and WAW's new man (who won't last, b.t.w.) -- that's out there beyond 300 meters. Ignore Mr. Rebound and his "life coach" skills -- there's nothing you can do about him right now.
Square your health away; square your finances away. Those are the tasks that will do the most for you and your children right now, it seems to me. Once you've got a stable platform you can start thinking about the targets off in the distance.
You've got a community of faith right there, waiting to help you. Let them. Get that rock -- that foundation -- for you and the children -- the Home. Deal with the rest later.
Smileys post shows how to prioritize. What are your boundaries? What are the consequences of your spouse's behavior? Who is most important? Who is the most helpless?
What do you think you 25, 50 and 300 meter targets could be?
*hugs*
PS.. In Divorce Remedy I read that midlife crisis lasts about two years after discovery of the affair. According to that your spouse is doing overtime.
