I was a WAW....that just didn't go away. I left this marriage, in mind and spirit, 3 or 4 years ago. I was here, physically 'haunting' my house but my heart had grown cold and indifferent from years of built up resentments that I'd tried to express to my H but never saw them make a dent.
While my Hs 1st A was going on something inside me 'knew it' I even confronted him and he denied it, but all along I was right and at the time, I actually DIDN'T care, as long as he left ME alone. Back then, I didn't care if he was breathing or dead.
Then, when the bomb hit, and the A was no longer an indifferent suspicion but a reality...my smug, contented, "ice maiden" world shattered on the floor around me like shards of broken glass.
I had built such a wall around me, since the loss of my oldest son nine yrs ago, that no one and nothing got in....at least until my H tore it down with the truth of his A.
I have learned a lot about myself over these past 16 months since Bomb #1...some of it not very attractive, some of it pitiful, some of it inspiring but ALL of it character building, as painful as it's been.
These horrific times that all of us share on this board are really a golden opportunity for enlightenment, if only to come to terms with our own shortcomings, attributes and realizations.
We're all here to grow as better people, both for ourselves AND for our future relationships.
T2
