my story... finally

[bluerain]

Hope is a dangerous thing, but you know what? I dont regret having hope for my M at all. No matter what happens in my M, it gives me some comfort to know that M is really important to me. And to know what I was willing to do to preserve to it. I tried everything, from turning into a quivering, hopeless sap, which didnt work at all, to DBing, which not only made me stronger through this, but I think that the principles are useful in a lot of situations in life.

I agree with SLH, this A wont last, they never do. You will recover from this much easier than she will. You keep doing the right thing, and when you look back you will have no regrets. She will be recovering from this for years longer than you will.

I dont think that you should be "allowing" this to go on. If she is doing something that you wouldnt approve of one of your friends doing, dont allow her to do it either. If she is being a bad friend, then dont be her friend. You are her H, and you have the kids to keep you two in touch. If she isnt friend material right now, keep it all business. Dont treat her any better than you would a aquaintance.

I really focused on not being the one responsible to doing any more damage to my M, so I think that its good that you are committing yourself to not burning any bridges.

I am feeling the connection to my H a lot right now. We are best friends, even after everything that has happened. Thats why we picked these people to spend the rest of our lives with. Hopefully with patience we can figure out how to foster these connections again.