Kathleen, I was just reading your last post. WOW, you met with Bill and it is the first time a f word was all you had to report... I bet he thought about your meeting longer than you did... How things change... xxx K
"I lose my humor, my mojo, my wit, my sexy side. The exact things that attracted him in the first place to me. How is that possible? I don't know."
You have been reading too much SmileyPerson..
It usually happens because we feel "safe" with the Flat and Familiar. We don't want to rock the boat so to speak. What if's.. come to mind here. I have told you I have been right in the middle of Flat and Familiar.. and I did not want to rock the boat. I found that you just gently have to start paddling the other way. You don't have to make drastic changes or yell and scream or even tell them you are doing it. Simple, small things are still the way you win. We think so often that a "drastic" change is needed yet so many times just changing 1 small insignificant thing changes the direction of things drastically.
I am changing my direction and headed home. Good night.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
My Lady, I knew you would comment on that. I still remember a thread of mine when you said our Hs were MIA and explained "missing in action" for me and then I said my H was missing in someone's beaver... It was the moping and mopping thread... SO much fun!!!
mish, I prefer natural lubrication. I only need to find "a cause" for it... (not the magic wand by Hitachi)
Hey K.. I just think.. if you love him, its worth it, if you dont.. then, its a no brainer.. but then, you have kids so that viewpoint is not always valid. You dont seem to have alot of good things to say about H, other than he is calm, polite, a good father, not abusive.. but you never say.. he makes you laugh, he is your best friend, you cant take your eyes off him when you see him (once a week).. you have the urge to kiss him all over, rip his clothes off, tell him something funny that happened to you today... etc etc etc..It just doesnt seem right to me, its not how it should be.
Have you tried doing all those things on the list? Fake it till you make it? If you feel limp, wilting and dead inside from lack of attention/love.. how do you think he is feeling inside? Because, although we understand the reasons.. you arent sending much love and attention his way either. You are like 2 plants in an understair cupboard. Someone needs to come take you out and sit you somewhere new, in the light, where you can breathe.
That reminds me of the symobolism of pluto transits (pluto has been transiting your 7th house of marriage and significant others for the past 12 years and has just left that house, so a transition period, a "death" of the old R).. We are like a plant, that has grown too big for its pot.. our roots are strangled and we can no longer grow. We wilt and start to slowly die in fact.. until someone comes along and yanks us out of our pot. They leave us on the side, stripped bare to our roots, vunerable, exposed.. we dont know if we will survive, we are afraid, fearful, its painful, we want to go back to what was old and familiar, but we know we never can its already too late, we have outgrown those old conditions.. and then, just as all hope is lost.. the new pot is ready.. we are put back into the earth and now there is so much space to grow, we flourish and change and are transformed, we look around and we dont recognise ourselves, we are bigger, healthier, our roots, although scarred, are stronger and tougher and have learnt to survive.
Just being a smart ass here. You are right. I loved that symbolism. I cant fake it. There was a period I was warmer and softer and sweeter and he...didnt build on that. We'll see Ali (God I am HAPPY FOR YOU!!!) xxxx K
Yes.. a new pot. Absolutely. Although...my bf has been having a pluto/venus transit.. and although rare, he went back to the old pot. Except the old pot had changed and transformed herself also and gives him what he needs to flourish (I hope!!). I guess H is still that old, narrow, restrictive pot. LOL. Nope, still not funny
I would be happy for me.. but when do I get to stop feeling nervous and like "is this REALLY happening?"
I would be happy for me.. but when do I get to stop feeling nervous and like "is this REALLY happening?"
Ummm...hate to say it but my guess is not ever really. You could run the risk of becoming complacent, safe, boring...all the things he doesn't want anymore. Keep it on edge and exciting!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
(not the magic wand by Hitachi)