I think it's important not to assume that things are done with an eye towards hurting us. I don't think my H thinks of me much, if at all. They are just lost in the big forest. I do not know if H will ever make it out.
Yes, it's likely that it's an attempt to get OW accepted, but that is not the same as an attempt to hurt us.
I also think that the more we adjust, the less things hurt. Many things will continue to hurt me, but not with that some power they did when H first left and I felt so very rejected and devastated.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D