PMA wrote to you - "Don't initiate calls. Dont reply to txt right way. Wait an hour or so. If you keep on enabling her CAKE-EATING then she will never miss you. I know it's hard. It seems like it's the opposite of what you should be doing. Just because she says that you neglecting her was way she left. Blah blah!!! She still is the one that left. She is just trying to JUSTIFY her decisions. YOU KNOW THIS ALREADY!!! DONT BELIEVE ANYTHING THEY SAY!!!! She is CONFUSED. STOP REACTING TO HER REACTIONS!!! And Last but not least, my favorite YOU CANT RATIONALIZE WITH IRRATIONAL PEOPLE. WAS's are NOT BEING RATIONAL SO STOP TRYING TO RATIONALIZE. Just detach and GAL/PMA."
Man...that's great advice!
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Also...dburt wrote this - "I know it is hard, but do not believe that there is no effect on her if you change for the better using the techniques that are here. This can only be done however, if you really make the changes for yourself."
That's more good advice.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Well, just got another email from her - just nonsense type stuff of a forward of a joke. I didn't reply, nor do I plan to.
I don't understand why she's does stuff like this. Perhaps she thinks it's innocent and doesn't truly understand that continued contact from her makes me believe there is hope. Or she really thinks that we will be just best friends raising our boys in seperate households. Or she is trying to hurt me as revenge for making her feel neglected all these years.
Before everyone jumps on me with their 2x4's, I know I should not waste any energy into trying read her mind or rationalize with irrational people (Thanks PMA_Baby!). It just really hurts my heart. Just when I felt that my heart couldn't get broken anymore, she finds another piece to rip out.
I need to get focused on the positive. I will see my boys tonite. My 3 year old has baseball, which he absolutley loves. My 7 year old is now just 2 weeks from getting his cast off, just in time for soccer to start! The boys will then come home with me until Sunday morning.
Sobbing with a smile.....
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
PortlandDad recently wrote - "Our WASs are so deep in la-la land that even they don't know what they want from one minute to the next. Anything they say,..., is just what they are feeling at that exact moment."
Stay out of her head!
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
PortlandDad recently wrote - "Our WASs are so deep in la-la land that even they don't know what they want from one minute to the next. Anything they say,..., is just what they are feeling at that exact moment."
Stay out of her head!
I am printing this out and taping it to my monitor at work!
H35 W34 S4 | T-10 yrs M-6 yrs WAW said M over 04/09 | Living separate since 09/09 Thread #1 Thread #2 Thread #3
I picked up my 7 year old first and he told me that mommy told him last nite there is a real posibility that she isn't coming home. He said he asked why but she just said ut just is.
Not sure if she's taking to heart what I said last week about giving the boys false hope.
That's probably why she's not going to baseball tonite. Argh!!!
I want to talk to her about this but am afraid that will just make it worse
What to do?!?!?
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
There's nothing you can do. Just let it go because you can't shake her out of her fog.
If she doesn't want to go to the game tonight, that's her choice. A poor one because you're having the children suffer by her not being there for support, but it's still her choice. She's going to have to live with the consequences now or in the future.
Your W chooses to stay away and has not gone into C at all. She chooses to hold on to the hurt she "believes" she has.
Unfortunately you can't do anything about it. Do what you can for yourself first and protect your kids from her hurricane of emotions.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
