Aaargh, can we just know that we relate to each other so we don't have to keep saying it.
I've said "we will figure it out" and things like that and you know, I don't know that it makes sense in retrospect. Maybe you can let him stress (instead of telling him no to). I am the same way and I know it seems wifely, but you are bummed that he is not feeling the emotional effects of this and at the same time, trying to calm his anxiety. Maybe it wont be ok. Maybe he needs to f'ing get real.
I think that calm, cool and collected is great. Affirmations or validations, great. "I know this is very stressful" etc. I have the same impulses you do but should I be the person that takes the edge off? Not sure. There are varying schools of thought on that. But, for me, since that is who I was in R and H did see that as emasculating, I need a different approach. How about, "I know YOU'LL figure it out..."
You are doing great. I am just giving you my opinion. PLUS, you do not know what he is feeling. You just don't.
