Quote: I, for example, wouldn't dream of speaking to my friends as I've spoken to CJ, or have them spin in the wake of a freakout! I'll bet your H doesn't speak that way to his boss!
I used to say to my H, I don't care if you don't like me my friends do...well it took me a while to realize that I didn't treat my friends the way I treated him, so why wouldn't they like me? Thus I have been treating my spouse as I would my closest friends.
I also am a yeller, but have really been watching myself lately, more with my son. I have been consiously watching how I speak to him so that I'm not always yelling. I don't want him to grow up with that memory either. My mother was a stay at home mom with six children, four of which were boys, so I know why she yelled a lot.
Quote T2: Remember, they spend a huge part of their time convincing themselves that what they have done is UNFORGIVEABLE because to most MEN, if the shoe were on the other foot, it would be. So your H is skeptical that your desire to reconcile is REAL or possible. So YOU have to show him that YOU believe it is and eventually, he'll buy into it.
T2 I stole this from your response to...I don't remember, but I brought it over here in hopes that you'll be checking my thread out. We are still separated, but do you think So YOU have to show him that YOU beleive it is and eventually, he'll buy in it is something you can do while still separated?
Today was a very interesting day. H had to work, he was running a tower crane, so I took son to watch him. It's the same crane he was running when I first met him and the exact same radio guy (my friends nicknamed him matchmaker) was working with him today. This is how I first met my H. I was walking into work one day and approached my building his radio guy, matchmaker, stopped me and asked me if I wanted to meet the crane operator after work for a drink...and we've been together ever since, 11 years.
So we went to lunch, came here, H fell asleep, S fell asleep, I watched a movie. H gets up and leaves. S19 is supposed to meet him here at 3 so I found it odd that he just left without saying anything, well actually not. So I called S19 to see if he was still coming over or if maybe plans had changed. I said your D just left, but I'm sure he's coming back. So called H to see where he was, he was getting a card for the surprise b-day party for BIL. S19 is going with him, me and S3 are not. He was using his no emotion voice on the phone, says he went to get a card, I say oh, he says bye. S19 gets here says D went to get a card, he called him to when he got here, S19 then asked what was wrong D, he sounded weird on the phone like he had a hangover. I said I think he's tired.
Something is definitely up with H today, he's feeling something...
