Over the Shock and GALing 4

[orangedog]

I know the concerns you and W have about attorneys. Read any legal site and just feel those hackles raise on the back of your neck. It was not the experience I wanted nor did I want to create a big fight when reconciliation was a possibility. Escalation is certainly a possibility but you can avoid it.

I went to a lawyer to prepare myself. He was a mediator recommended by a dbing-friendly counselor. He was by no means a shark but just a level-headed attorney who didn't believe in fighting childish divorces.

My first visit I paid cash and didn't tell W about it. I just went through a list of questions I had and got some insight into the process. Got his card, shook hands, and told him I hope we never meet again.

When W and I got in argument about house and moving. I got out his card and list of questions. Not to show I wanted a fight but I was prepared.

W sent me a draft of a settlement agreement the next day (she is an atty), so I went to his office, we looked through it, and responded back with his recommendations. W hit me that evening with, "I didn't think you'd show this to a lawyer. Don't you trust me?" "Indeed, I trust you and the atty said the settlement was very fair but Orangedog don't do law. Whatever you send to me, I'm going to turn around and send right to him. No judgement on my part. It's just business."

We dropped it that evening and haven't brought it up since. I didn't start a fight but I showed I was an adult and ready to take care of business.